Modern Etiquette Has a Reputation Problem, with Mariah Humbert

Written By Heather Wiese

Etiquette has a reputation problem. People sit up straighter at dinner when they learn what Mariah Humbert does, assuming she is watching how they hold a fork. She isn't, unless they ask. Her position is that the whole category has been mislabeled: books full of rules are better understood as tools, and the point of any of them is to help people feel confident enough to bring forward what they have to offer. She and Heather take that into 2026, from introductions and wedding-table diplomacy to the thank-you note nobody sends because they don't own stationery.

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What you'll learn in this episode

  • Why etiquette has a reputation problem, and Mariah's reframe: rules are better used as tools, applied situationally instead of memorized
  • The introductions trick that works: drop "introduce you to" entirely and ask one question instead, whose name do I say first
  • Why the hard part of wedding planning is family dynamics rather than logistics, and the conversation couples should have before they choose invitation wording
  • Where handwritten thank-you notes are still non-negotiable, the dual strategy for professional situations that can't wait for the mail, and the one sentence that makes a note worth keeping
  • How to choose the right channel for a hard message, and why erring formal is the safer bet while you build professional credibility

About the guest

Mariah G. Humbert is a New York City–based etiquette expert and author of the wedding etiquette books What Do I Do? and The Essential Wedding Planner. She offers consultations, trainings and keynotes, and her expertise has been featured by The Today Show, NBC News, Forbes, Southern Living, Brides and Martha Stewart.

Connect: mariahhumbert.com

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Heather Wiese