How to Hold People Accountable Without Losing Your Cool, with Dr. Harry Cohen
You paid for exceptional and didn't get it, and you have every right to say something. The question is how to say it so the standard holds and nobody leaves feeling small. Psychologist and executive coach Dr. Harry Cohen, author of Be the Sun, Not the Salt, joins Heather to talk about giving feedback on bad service, apologizing for the way you said something without abandoning what you said, and the quiet checks that keep your tone in hand when you are focused on being right. It is a practical conversation about accountability as a form of good manners, not an exception to them.
Watch on YouTube · Listen on Spotify
What you'll learn in this episode
- Why you lose track of your own tone the moment you're focused on being right, and the two quick checks Harry runs mid-conversation: one inside yourself, one on the other person's face
- How to hold people accountable when they fall short without berating them, or yourself, and the question Harry asks instead: what's the next right thing?
- How to apologize for the way you said something without dropping the issue itself, including the pause most people skip and the one word that cancels everything you said before it
- How to give feedback on bad service so it actually lands: who to tell, why Harry protects the server, and the motive check to run before you say a word
- Why Heather calls most pet peeves sugar-coated entitlement, and how Harry handles a client who shows up late: say it plainly once, then move on
About the guest
Dr. Harry Cohen is a psychologist and executive coach. He earned his PhD in psychology at the University of Michigan, spent years as a marriage and family therapist, and now coaches executives. He is the author of Be the Sun, Not the Salt and writes a Psychology Today blog of the same name, built on the idea of being heliotropic: people move toward those who leave them better off. He also owns The Black Pearl restaurant in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
Connect: bethesunnotthesalt.com
Related reading from Bell'INVITO
Never miss an episode
New episodes of Social in Security arrive every Thursday. Sign up for text alerts and get a link the moment each one drops. Have a moment you want decoded? Write to ask@social-in-security.com.