How to Disagree Gracefully at the Table, with Dr. Pauline Hoffmann
Someone at the table says something that makes you think, wait, is that actually true? You have about two seconds to decide whether to say anything, and most of us freeze. Dr. Pauline Hoffmann studies both halves of that problem, how bad information spreads and how conflict gets resolved, and she joins Heather to get practical: what to do in the pause, how to tell which arguments are worth having, why the most persuasive approach depends on who is across from you, and what a host can do when the conversation turns. Knowing something is wrong and knowing what to do about it turn out to be two very different skills.
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What you'll learn in this episode
- What to do in the first few seconds, including why Pauline counts to five rather than ten, and the questions worth running through before you decide whether to respond at all
- How to tell a reactive decision from a reflective one, the filter she uses on whether an argument is worth having, and why people respect a decision they disagree with when it clearly wasn't a knee-jerk
- Why the same argument lands differently depending on who is hearing it, illustrated by two family members approaching the same conversation and getting opposite results
- What a host can actually do, from setting ground rules at the door to redirecting the table, and how to handle the guest everyone could see coming
- How to check something before you pass it along: where a real story would have been reported, who funded the study, and the trap of wanting something to be true
About the guest
Dr. Pauline Hoffmann is an associate professor at the Jandoli School of Communication at St. Bonaventure University, a former dean, and a former New York State senior public health fellow. She is the author of Fake News, Witch Hunts and Conspiracy Theories: An Infodemiologist's Guide to the Truth, and writes WTF (What the Facts), covering disinformation.
Connect: pwhoffmann.com
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